White News Letter
January 5, 2009
San Jose, Costa Rica
As Chairman of the Federal Reserve Bernanke announces the official
arrival of the depression, analysts are pinning their hopes on the latest
run of the mindless reality TV show to bolster confidence in the markets
and raise national morale.
Workers at the New York stock exchange cheered as the line-up for "I'm a
Celebrity...get me out of here" was released and shares surged by 10% in
the hours afterwards. Troops fighting in Afghanistan and Iraq laid down
their weapons and embraced their colleagues on hearing the news.
President Bush hailed the new series as the beginning of the recovery and
praised Fox TV for its selfless commitment to public service broadcasting
in these times of economic strife. President elect Obama weighed in
saying "It was the right thing to do at this time."
“The sight of Brittney Spears, Lindsey Lohan and Paris Hilton and a
succession of other pointless nobodies crawling through piles of insects
and drinking monkey urine can only be good for us as we face the most
serious challenges of our era,” Senator Harry Reid said yesterday.
“In the great depression of the thirties the American people had the
soaring oratory of Franklin Rooseveldt, strong communities and the can do
spirit to get them through. Now we will have Tom Cruise's wife in a
bikini climbing throuh a snake infested jungle in Costa Rica to unify the
nation. Together we can make the U.S. great again.”
Fox TV will air the program at prime time daily so as to get the largest
possible audience and impact on the psyche of the American people
in order to raise their spirits even though they don't have money to dine
out.
Bob
Groovy.
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